Pretentious Record Store Blog

How many times have you found yourself trapped on a broken down bus going nowhere fast, completely surrounded by a smörgåsbord of the craziest freaks, geeks, weirdos, aliens, robots, cavemen, megalomaniacal midgets, dinosaurs, buddy cops, giant mutant monsters, dysfunctional couples, depressed artists, ninjas for hire, poli-sci majors, sit down comics and one messed up kid with a head full of LSD and only Jesus and His pet goat to help him through his trip?

If you have, then it’s just another Tuesday in your so called life. Congratulations, friend, that means that you’re already a big Freak!

If you have never had the luxury to find yourself in such a position, then it’s about time for you to expand your horizons a bit and venture outside your comfortable little sphere of normalcy; it’s time for you to experience first hand the depravity, humility, misadventures and downright oddness of how the other half lives!

So what are you waiting for: tune in, turn on and join the parade… Purchase the limited edition Parade of Freaks WizardWorldChicago Special now at IndyPlanet.com.

The Parade of Freaks/Pretentious Record Store Guy is hitting the road, folks! June 27th-29th we setting up shop at Wizard World Chicago. We are extremely excited since this is our first official convention outing. We will also have the very first issue of Pretentious Record Store Guy miniseries for sale as well as the Wizard World Parade of Freaks Special Edition which has the much anticipated Agent of C.H.A.N.G.E. 5 page story as a bonus. It’s going to be amazing and we can’t wait to see you there. So if you’re in Chicago and are attending WizardWorld, come look me up. Enjoy.

In order to fully submerse yourself in the world of Pretentious Record Store Guy, it helps to know the lingo. To help out all those wannabe hucksters, hipsters and scenesters, we here at Pretentious Record Store Guy have decided to educate the coalition of the willing in the vernacular of PRSG. Enjoy.

Pretentious - characterized by assumption of dignity or importance
Pretentious Record Store Guy - most every record store employee, our protagonist
Hipster - a person characterized by a particularly strong sense of disdain and alienation from the mainstream and a real affinity for the cutting edge and/or independent; a person in the know.
Scenester - a person always involved with a particular scene, mainly to be seen
Fashionista - a person who always on the cutting edge of fashion and style and flaunts their knowhow
Phil Collins - drummer, singer/songwriter, 80s pop icon and mortal enemy of Pretentious Record Store Guy.
Retro - of or designating the style of an earlier time
Indie - Independent music
The Heat - slang for something that is so amazingly good it goes beyond being “hot” and becomes
Emo - emotional music characterized best by whiny, adolescent lyrics and heart on the sleeve junior high school poetry a la Sunny Day Real Estate and Dashboard Confessional
Hipster Battle - a contest of wits in regards to who is the most in the know
Triple T Hipster BaTTTle - an extreme Hipster Battle sort of like a XXX rating for the hipsters
Rock Band Central - the staging point for all rock bands
Digg - the act of promoting something online
Andrew Wood - The Jesus Christ of Grunge
Bleed the Blood of the Dying - A post-emo-core band with slight math core influences
Gospel Music - the word in music, home of Pretentious Record Store Guy

Every journey has a beginning, every story has a start and every record store has a Pretentious Record Store Guy. This is his story!

When you’re Pretentious Record Store Guy, you’re life is pretty much made in the shade right? You get to see all the cool shows, pick through all the good music and take home all the latest promos. Life is pretty good, right? A pretentious existential crisis, with jokes about music.

The key to being in a scene is to be seen, and nowhere is more important than in a record store, where the employees are cooler than you and know every big band a year before anyone else does; welcome to the world of Pretentious Record Store Guy.

You’ve seen his adventures monthly in the pages of Playback:STL and online at pretentiousrecordstoreguy.com and now Pretentious Record Store Guy is going on his biggest journey yet. Issue #1 of the epic Pretentious Record Store Guy story hits the web like underground single from your favorite band, only instead of being sonic delicious goodness for your ear holes it’s music for your eyes and your cerebral cortex. If you have never read any Pretentious Record Store Guy comic, than do yourself a favor and read the first 10 pages for free at the Pretentious Record Store Guy website.

It’s a Hipster BaTTTle happening (3Ts like XXX only TTT)!!!

Available now at IndyPlanet: http://www.indyplanet.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=1076

There are very few comics that serve as a sublime example of what happens when images and words collide on a blank sheet of paper. In that rare instance when that comic comes around you cherish it and hope that it never ends. 100 Bullets is one such comic. Unfortunately, the series has just begun its final arc before the curtain falls and one of Vertigo’s longest running series comes to an end.Brian Azzarello is the multiple Eisner and Harvey Award winning writer of 100 Bullets, which he created with artist Eduardo Risso. 100 Bullets is second only to Hellblazer as the longest-running title from DC’s Vertigo imprint, and Azzarello and Risso’s unbroken run on the title is second only to Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley on Ultimate Spider-Man for the longest consecutive issue streak by a creative team in the last 15 years. Recently, Azzarello launched a new ongoing Vertigo title, Loveless, with artist Marcelo Frusin.

I am a HUGE 100 Bullets fan and was thrilled when I was given the opportunity to interview Brian. In the first part of my expansive interview, Azzarello talks about 100 Bullets, Loveless, the American vs. European comic market, and punching lead singers of rock bands in the face. Check it out on Playback:STL.

Come back next week for the second part of the interview, where Brian talks about the Batman: Gotham Knight DVD (a companion to this summer’s blockbuster Dark Knight film), his superhero work, the long delayed 100 Bullets game, and why Bruce Wayne is the man.

Next Tuesday Feb. 5th is Super Tuesday, so the Parade of Freaks wanted to remind everyone to go out and vote in the primaries.

Who has won the Parade’s admiration and vote this season? Why, none other than Mr. Barack Obama. Why? Because he is an Agent of C.H.A.N.G.E. What is C.H.A.N.G.E.? Change is Citizens Helping America’s New Government Effort. Government is broken and only C.H.A.N.G.E. can fix it.

To enable C.H.A.N.G.E. we must Vote for Barack Obama for President!

This illustration was inspired by the great Jim Steranko, the leadership of Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., and is powered by H.O.P.E.

Enjoy.

1) All Star Superman by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely

2) Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon and John Cassaday

3) 100 Bullets by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso

4) Captain America by Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting

5) Fables by Bill Willingham and Mark Buckingham

6) Madman Atomic Comics by Mike and Laura Allred

7) Casanova by Matt Fraction and Gabriel Ba

Criminal by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips

9) Invincible by Robert Kirkman, Ryan Ottley and Bill Crabtree

10) Age of Bronze by Eric Shanower

11) Dork by Evan Dorkin

12) Planetary by Warren Ellis and John Cassaday

13) Too Much Coffee Man by Shannon Wheeler

14) Eightball by Dan Clowes

15) Immortal Iron Fist by Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction and David Aja

I know I haven’t posted a new Pretentious Record Store Guy comic in a little while, and for that I apologize, but the truth is that I have been gearing up for Zuda Comics.

What exactly is Zuda Comics? Zuda Comics is D.C. Comics new online webcomic site. They just opened their doors in late October to an international talent contest and I have been busy frantically preparing my submission piece. The winner of the contest gets a 1 year publishing contract with D.C. and Zuda Comics.

Well, I’ve got great news for everyone! One of my comics, Development Hell, has been selected as a Top Ten Finalist in for the Zuda Comics December Competition: http://www.zudacomics.com/

What does this mean? Essentially, the editors at Zuda liked the comic enough to put it in their Top Ten for the month. Now, it’s up to all the people out there to decide which comic would they like to see on a weekly basis and vote for the winner. But voting for their favorite comic isn’t enough to seal the deal; since we are living in a Web 2.0 world (and if you don’t know what that is, then read Development Hell to find out), the comic rankings are based on a few different factors. The first is the vote of the people. Voting for the comic that you think is the best is the fundamental principle at work here. Secondly, you have to rate the comic on a 5 Star system, with 1 Star being a poor rating and 5 Stars being the best. Third, you have to add the comic as one of your favorites. Essentially this is bookmarking the comic for easy viewing at a later date. Lastly, comes the all important Page View factor. Going through all the pages of the comic help increase it’s Page Views. Coming back multiple times to the comic to reread it throughout the competition also help the Page Views Category. All of these things help affect the rank of the comic and go into Zuda’s top secret equation that determines the winner.

With all your help, I can make one of my dreams a reality by having one of my original creations published by D.C. Comics. So if everyone can please take 5 minutes and help me out by creating a profile and voting for Development Hell as they’re favorite comic, I would greatly appreciate it.

To create a profile and vote on Development Hell, simply go to Zuda Comics and get started.

Thanks a bunch!

Carlos

Who’s better? Who’s best? Pete Best? Why he’s the original drummer for The Beatles and could only be replaced by a Starr.

Speaking of originality, this newest comic is a complete rip off of Abbott and Costello’s classic routine “Who’s on First,” which was voted the best comedy routine of the 20th according to Time magazine. But Abbot and Costello simply caught the gag that had been floating through the smoke filled air of certain Vaudeville theatres for quite some time, which proves that all good art is theft.

Come to think of it, isn’t good theft an art?

Enjoy the latest edition of Pretentious Record Store Guy with your favorite beverage or six. Here’s to the ghosts of the 20th century who continue to haunt us to this very day.

Guess who.