Pretentious Record Store Blog

Seriously. Pretentious Record Store Guy can’t stand him! Pretentiousness is one thing, but a pompous drummer? Please.

What did Phil Collins do? He stepped up and made a great band terrible and in the process made a fortune by swindling the idiotic and still coked up masses in the early and mid 80s. Then he goes solo and proceeds to put his balding, beat up mug on the cover of EVERY SINGLE ONE of his albums. Please. As if the music isn’t enough to cause you to ignite M-80s right next to your ears to purge the sound from your brain, no, Phil also wants you to vomit as well at the un ghastly site of his taunting mug. Jerk! Useless drummers need to stay behind their little kit and let the real musicians make their magic.

So Pretentious Record Store Guy came up with a little game called “Fuck Phil Collins!” It’s like asteroids except you have to stop the people from throwing rocks at Phil Collins fat face. Jerk. I let them all through with the hopes that maybe Phil Collins can feel the stone cut into his face while he is lying in his 1200 count sheets at night in his undeserving palace of a home

All New Pretentious Record Store Guy Website

This is the new Pretentious Record Store Guy website link.

If you’re like Pretentious Record Store Guy then you’re 5′10″, rail thin, ridiculously good looking and your hair is the elixir from which dreams are made. And since there is only one Pretentious Record Store Guy and this is his website, then you are not him. Your loss.

But you are also a pretentious music fan, an aficionado of the underground, the litmus test by which any band who is anyone will be judged and blogged by before their fist single even makes it to a mall to be sold at Sam Goody and purchased by know-nothings who will only buy whatever Rolling Stone, Spin or A.P. advertisers steer them towards. We are the taste makers that serve up our sacrificial lambs to the mainstream so that they can die and be be resurrected in the temple of rock.

This site is an ongoing affair and will be constantly updated, amended, bushwhacked, anointed, assembled, destroyed and resurrected anew on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. To check out the newest Pretentious Record Store Guy comic simply turn your eyes to your right and continue reading. To read the webcomic about the adventures of a record store clerk who has forgotten more about music than you’ll ever know from the start of the beginning, simply click here on Comics.

For those of you in the know, you know already, but for those mere mortals who are lacking in Indie cred and need to brush up in order to win a few hipster battles, click on the Pretentious Record Store Blog and save yourselves the embarrassment of being the last one to jump on the newest thing’s bandwagon.

Show some love and impress all of your fashionista friends by purchasing your very own Pretentious Record Store Guy t-shirts available in all sizes including Youth Large, Small and Medium.

See what all the rock critics are raving about when you check out the Pretentious Record Store Guy’s Top Five List.

Praise be to Brian Jones!

Praise be to Andrew Wood!

Long live Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry, Little Richard and John Lennon!

Long live Rock and Roll!

Who’s better? Who’s best? Pete Best? Why he’s the original drummer for The Beatles and could only be replaced by a Starr.

Speaking of originality, this newest comic is a complete rip off of Abbott and Costello’s classic routine “Who’s on First,” which was voted the best comedy routine of the 20th according to Time magazine. But Abbot and Costello simply caught the gag that had been floating through the smoke filled air of certain Vaudeville theatres for quite some time, which proves that all good art is theft.

Come to think of it, isn’t good theft an art?

Enjoy the latest edition of Pretentious Record Store Guy with your favorite beverage or six. Here’s to the ghosts of the 20th century who continue to haunt us to this very day.

Guess who.